You're the One that I Want by Simon James Green

Author:Simon James Green [Green, Simon James]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scholastic
Published: 2021-06-02T18:30:00+00:00

19

I’m still fizzing with excitement for the next week. Zach’s leg continues to press against mine in English, and he catches my eye and smiles when someone else is talking, checking to see if I’m finding a joke funny, or rolling my eyes at some shit Lottie is stirring up in rehearsals. And, of course, he regularly comes to find me in the props store, which I’m probably spending more time in than I really need to. (Although I’ve made some loud mutterings about “the state of the place” and “needing to tidy up”, so I think our secret is safe – I’m not sure what the rules are about doing this sort of thing on school property, but I feel like we’re probably in violation of them.)

Things continue to go well as we move into the second week. We’re having fun; he’s even come to my house after school for some extra fun. I did say I’d be happy to go to his too, but he thought that was a bad idea. I get it. Not everyone has parents who are out all the time, or even accepting of their kids being gay, so I don’t push it. I don’t know, I think part of me wanted to meet his mum or something. Somehow meeting the folks feels like it would be more official. And as we move into the third week, that’s what I’m craving. Everything is nice, I’m enjoying it, I love being with Zach, I have learned a lot of interesting new skills, and all that is great, but it’s not enough. It’s just not enough. Which makes me laugh at myself, because I don’t know who I am to be so needy and expecting so much. Seriously, a guy like me should learn to be happy with what he can get, especially when it’s a guy like Zach. And I try to be. But, no, instead I let various horrible thoughts divide and multiply until I’m besieged by self-doubt and totally convinced Zach will dump me any day now. I can’t shake the nagging doubt in my head that the reason he only wants things to be “casual” and the reason he doesn’t want to be public and “official” with me around school is because he’s embarrassed. Because I’m not like Jasper.

But in the spirit of The Freddie Project, I am going to see this as an opportunity for self-improvement that I can say yes to. This leads me to two rash decisions. First, I text Mum:

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